Pregnant Mom's Diary

What a difference a year makes!

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 13:18:20 GMT

Today Baby Raymond is a year old. At 8:43 p.m. tonight I'm going to have that bottle of champagne that's been in my fridge for a year. I think CTnewdad forgot to bring it to the hospital.

It's been a crazy year. The first six months seemed to drag like they would never end and that my life would never get back to "normal." The last six months have flown by in a heartbeat. And every day, my little boy changes.

Yesterday, he took ten wobbling steps before lunging himself into my arms. He says Mama, Dada, BaBa, Papa (Grandpa), GaGa (Grandma), Caaa! (for the cats), Carrrrr (for the car) and CarrrTah(for the golf cart my Dad drives him around in). He says Guh (for Gus -- the dog) and Bah (for his ball).

He loves to read his books, the baby colors and animals one is his favorite. He loves to be read to, although he won't sit still for it. He likes to hear his father read Skippy John Jones and for me to read I Love You Stinky Face. He loves to play with his ball, his bull dozer with the man that he can hold in his hand, his Bob the Builder doll and his barnyard toy that he can open and shut the door. He loves Abby, the fairy princess on Sesame Street and Moose A. Moose from Noggin. He loves the outdoors and will get a little stir crazy if he doesn't get outside at least once a day to play on his swing or go for a ride in his stroller. He finds leaves fascinating and will twirl them around in his fingers before mashing them and ripping them apart. He takes great joy in the cats, and will squeal in delight and lunge for them, but they're too quick for him most of the time. He's fond of his binky, but not attached to his bottle. He likes drinking juice from a juice box with a straw and water from his sippy cup. He can hold his bottle like a big boy, but like it when you hold it for him, petting zoo style while he stands up.

He adores his PaPa and loves to pull his hair and eyebrows and rough house with him.

He is fascinated by the remote control on the TV, my keys and my cell phone. Not to mention our lap tops! He even likes to watch World of Warcraft. Although, he wants to be an active participant.

Today, for his birthday, I'm working a half day. I'll get home around noon. We're going to take him to his old play group -- the one I used to go to before I started working again. So hopefully, he can see all his friends. Then we've got to run some errands, pick up his cake at BJ's warehouse club, our clown wigs for his carnival themed party that's tomorrow and then it's home for a nap before going over to Grandma's house to sing Happy Birthday. Tomorrow, the entire family will be over for his party and he'll get to dive head first into his cake. There will be pictures.

You can see some recent pictures on my Facebook. Jamie Schmidt. But his Dad put more on because he had a camera Thomas Schmidt. Send us a friend request and we'll add you so you can see them. It's worth it just to see the Elvis Halloween pictures.

All in all, the pain and the terror are gone. I still wake up around 4 a.m. and have to check on him to make sure he's still breathing, but lately it's been to put a blanket over him in case he's cold.

He's such a beautiful little boy, my little man. His eyes are the brightest blue and his smiles are magical. I love to hear him laugh, which he does all the time. He even giggles in his sleep. He's so precious. He gives kisses and hugs and will reach out to me for a hug when his Daddy is holding him so all three of us can hug and cuddle. He crawls over to me and lifts himself up on my legs. He sits on my lap -- briefly -- to watch Blue's Clues.

I remember a year ago today and the days after how dark and scared I was. I would have never thought that a year later, everything would be back to the "normal" that I so desperately wanted. Yet, here I am in an even better job than the one I had previously. I'm healthy. I'm happy. And I'm so very grateful for all the good things in my life. I'm looking forward to the holidays and sharing with him the turkey for Thanksgiving and the Macy*s parade. And watching the Christmas cartoons that defined the holiday, "Nestor the donkey," "A year without a Santa Claus", etc. Showing him the tree and decorating it. Telling him about Santa. So many good things.

Happy Birthday Raymond James!!!

Finally Healing

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 11:42:41 GMT

The wound vac came off last Tuesday. It's closing slowly, but very healthy. The wound nurse was pissed because the VNA put the suction cup on the healing skin and made it very raw. I had been feeling it hurt, but I just assumed it was part of the course. Also, had the VNA put it on the opposite side, I wound have had greater wound shrinkage. So we're both a litle miffed. However, they put me on a new wound treatment called aquacel:

http://www.convatec.com/Ag/us/post_op_wounds/start.htm

Which is fantastic. It's shrinking the wound like the wound vac only without having to haul around a 10 lb purse! LOL! The dressing needs to be changed every other day and the only downside is that it stinks when it's changed because of the old drainage. Bleah! That and I'm back to sponge baths because I'm too chicken shit to change my own dressing. However, I think on Thursday -- depending on what the hospital says on Tuesday, I'm going to give it a shot. I'm just so afraid I'm going to fuck up my healing!

The baby is doing great. He's gaining weight and he's very healthy. He has a pediatrician's appointment today for his one month check up. So I'm looking forward to seeing how much he weighs and asking all my hypochondriac mother questions.

Up to Date

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 19:15:20 GMT

So there you have it.

I'm healing, with a healthy -- if cranky baby boy -- and a wound vac attached to my incision and carrying around a pack. We now return you to your regularly updated journal: <lj user="jamiekswriter">

There's a Li-igh-ight Over at the Frankenstein's Place

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 19:13:26 GMT

Wednesday, 11/28/07 Day 14

Happy Two Week Birthday Ray! His belly button stump fell off! He has an innie! CTnewDad brought home an Elmo cupcake to celebrate. Ray doesn't like Elmo. He accidently smashed his feet into the frosting and was even more displeased. I got pictures of it. I'll post them as soon as I figure out how to do it.

I'm getting the wound vac as soon as my insurance company agrees to pay for it. The wound is healing. They found a 6 cm tunnel at 9:00 in the wound (from the bacteria) an a 1.5 cm tunnel at 6:00. Once I get the wound vac, the nurses nee to be told that those two tunnels need to be stuffe with the white foam. The rest of the wound is stuffed with the black foam and then the whole shebang is sealed with this saran wrap like stuff. The VNA will come out two days a week instead of every day to clean and check on it and I'll still have to haul up to Midstate one day a week. Hopefully I can arrange for that on a Saturday so CTnewDad can take me instead of me relying on my Dad to take me. He has to take off time from work, luckily he's self employed, but still. It's inconvenient for him. Other than that the wound *is* getting smaller. The Dr. debraded it or as I call it "roughed it up". He cut out all the bad bits so it can heal better. He said that the wound is healthy and healing. He saidd I will heal quickly -- even more so with the wound vac.

Raymond is so sweet. He's like clockwork, every two hours. CTnewDad is a great sport. I was so hurting and frusrated last night because when the percoset and the analgesic wears off -- ouch! I was having a hard time lifting the baby. So he took all of my night shifts and still went to work. He's my hero. I was going to go back to sleep for the 9 a.m. - 11 a.m. snooze, but I wanted to take my pills, get washed and dressed, call to renew my prescriptions, and pay some bills.

Thursday, 11/29/07 Day 15

I hate daytime TV. I'm sick of the food channel.

The wound vac has been approved by my insurance company. I have a steady nurse from the VNA an she's very familiar with wound vacs. I'm on the right road to recovery. Whoo! My cat Ash has been eating my flowers an is looking pretty sick. I put a towel down in the bathroom with some food and water, hoping she'll go there where it's more quiet than where her food dish is now in the dining room.

I took the baby for most of the night shift last night. I'm really tired and hoped to sleep another hour, but Ray was up early. I'm planning on sleeping all afternoon. I had my first outing in two weeks last night. CTnewDad and I went to BabiesRUs to pick up the crib rails. We returned some duplicate stuff and I picked up two new outfits. I started to cry when I saw the lights in New Haven over the Q bridge. Clearly I need to get out more.

Today Ray had an epic diaper moment. He had an explosive poo bomb. As I changed him, the firehose went off and the playdough poo factory started up again.

My Mom helped me out a great deal these past two weeks. She's watched the baby, cleaned the house, did countless loads of dishes and laundry for me and cooked several meals. She sat with me through the VNA visits, holding Raymond so he wouldn't cry and then staying with me afterwards until the pain passed and I could take care of my baby again. I couldn't have survived these two weeks without her. She even helped me finish up the birth announcements today.

I'm now officially on blood pressure medication. Along with my prenatals, the iron supplement and the two antibiotics, I feel like a pill factory!

Friday, 11/30/07 Day 16

Well, the wound vac came, but the company didn't send the black foam. So after calling KCI, the nurse confirmed that they can stuff the wound with the white foam and turn the juice up higher. It feels good. I got to take the first shower since the hospital over two weeks ago. I cried in the shower. I feel like an emotional dish rag. My Mom watched the baby. The wound is still sore, but I can see all the "bad stuff" being sucked through the tubes so I guess that's good. The unit isn't that heavy. Still it's weird to have something connected to me all the time. I've afraid I'm going to trip over the tubes or drop the unit. There's also some trouble positioning the tubes, but eventually we got it to work for awhile.

Saturday, 12/1/07 Day 17
We're finally getting into the routine of the baby.  The night time is still hard, especially for CTnewDad because I've been too wiped or in too much pain to get up. I spent the morning online comparing baby formula prices before deciding on signing up with Diapers.com. CTnewDad's family came to visit today. My Mom made chocolate chip cookies. There was much adoration of the baby. Lots of great pictures taken. We sat and watched "Evan Allmighty" and "Surf's Up". The only bad thing is the wound vac malfunctioned and would beep every five minutes. We had to sleep with the unit wrapped up in blankets and shoved under the bed. After much aggravation, we think it's because the white foam is too much "suck" for the unit.

I played Warcraft for the first time since Raymond was born. Unfortunately, it was on the Gnomeragan server playing with my nephews. I miss my Feathermoon guild. I'm hoping to get back on soon.

Sunday 12/2/07 Day 18
It was a nice relaxing day, especially since CTnewDad did all the night watches. I slept a full night's sleep. Unfortunately, he's exhauste today. The nurse came in and removed the wound vac. So I'm back to being bandaged up and sore. But at least there's no more beeping!!!

Monday 12/3/07 Day 19
Ray went to the Dr's today. He gained weight. He's now 7.82 lbs an 21" long. The doctor said he was "long and skinny". His cord healed up nicely. My Mom went with me to the Drs to help. She hated how he cried when the doctor examined him. We went to the library and the post office afterwards.

Tuesday 12/4/07 Day 20
This was Raymond's due date. I can't imagine having him in my tummy for the past two weeks instead of with us. And I'm overjoyed that I don't ever have to go through these 20 days ever again. They've been challenging and stressful and I'm so happy to be finally able to climb out of the post partum depression and finding the new normal again.

My Dad noticed that my back two tires are bald. So I have to go and get some new ones. He drove me to Midstate and they put in the wound vac correctly with the correct black foam. It feels 100% better although I'm sore from the procedure. CTnewDad took the night shift to save me. I woke up with the shudders again, but I think it was my fever breaking. I had a low grade fever at the hospital. The doctor and nurse at the wound center were very pleased with the status of my recovery. They said it's possible to have the wound shrink 50% by next week with this wound vac. If only!!

More Back Journaling - The saga continues

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:16:08 GMT

So when last we left our new Mom, she had decided not to go with the wound vac and heal naturally. But fate had something more in store for her . . .

The VNA nurse on Thanksgiving was brutal. I know she didn't want to work on a holiday but did she have to take it out on me? Ouch! I was really glad for the percosets. She was very gloom and doom about my wound and told me that I should go for the wound vac procedure. I'm no longer frightened of it. We found some websites that had good information on it. It would cut down on the VNA visits to three times a week instead of every day and according to her changing the foam would hurt as much as changing my dressing. And it would heal the wound faster. They're worried about my blood pressure still. But it's always high when hey first come because I'm afraid of the pain.

Thanksgiving Day was wonderful. The food was great and Baby Ray was an angel. Everyone loves him. I'm sad I couldn't get my Grandfather to smile on camera, but he enjoyed looking at the baby. My mother washed my hair because I was feeling funky. Even though they tell me I can shower with the open wound, I ge scared that I'll make the infection worse. I'll wait until it's closed some.

I know I need rest, but my mind is so active and I feel normal until I try to get up and do something. I get some weepy moments and flares of panic about my wound. I'm feeling better about not being in immediate danger and about the wound vac treatment. I just have to remember that a *normal* C-section recovery takes 6-8 weeks (which would put me in January). So I shouldn't feel he need to be A-OK 8 days after the procedure. It's hard to be rational when you're hormonal.

Black Friday, 11/23/07 Day 9

CTnewDad went to Walmart after the 5 a.m. feeding to pick up a GPS and a photo printer on the cheap! When he got home I had him put the baby in between us on the bed. I like that because I can immediately check on any noise he makes, make sure his swaddling blanket doesn't cover his face in his sleep. His hea is either on my arm or on he bed with my body supporting him. Because it causes me so much pain to move, I wake up before shifting and am aware of the baby in bed with us. I didn't think it would be so hard to sleep when the baby sleeps. But I better start because I'm screwed when Daddy oes back to work. On the wound front, there's a lot of leakage. The VNA nurse also noticed a foul odor. Her name was Mary and she was very gentle which was a change from that bitch from Thanksgiving. She made me call Midstate hospital and sure enough my wound culture had come back that I had not one, but TWO strains of bacteria living in my wound. She put me on two antibiotics, Ciprio and Augmentin. It seems like we're living at CVS drugstore.

Saturday 11/24/07 Day 10
The baby is eating well, about an ounce of formula every hour. There seems to be a poopy diaper every other day and plenty of wet ones. I'm exhausted and in pain. The baby wakes up every two hours at night for a feeding and a diaper change. I'm lucky that CTnewDad is taking the night feedings because lifting the baby aggravates my wound. I'm so scared to be all alone with the baby in two days. I put the heat on in the house to 72 because I was getting the shakes.

Sunday 11/25/07 Day 11
Sometimes the post partum depression is tough to shake and I'm convinced that this woun in my abdomen is going to be faal for me. I have no appetite and I'm fighting off nausea when I take my pills. The antibiotics are playing hell with my digestive tract. I'm looking forward to Tuesday when I go back to Midstate Hospital so I can get some professional feedback. I'm so scared. I don't want to die. I want to see my baby grow up. I love him so much. I don't want to miss anything. I love my husband and my parents. Everyday with the baby has brought us closer. I smile and I'm filled with such joy just looking at Baby Ray and how much everyone loves him. Tomorrow Tom goes back to work and I'm scared. I'm not sure of what though. I guess I'm afraid of screwing up or hurting the baby by accident because I'm clumsy or too exhausted or in too much pain. But that's just nonsense. Me and Ray have go it covered.

***

Next up . . . a light at the end of the tunnel!!! Baby needs a diaper change so more later.

Going back in time a bit . . .

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 18:01:18 GMT

I found this in my journal for Tuesday, 11/20/07 -- This was from the night that I went to Midstate Hospital after they found out that my wound had reopened. The Dr. decided I didn't need a wound vac (mostly because I was really hysterical about having it.) So he said he would see me next week and see what the VNA had to say when they changed my dressing every day. I put this under a cut because it gets a little graphic, medically wise. At least I hope it goes under a cut. My HTML sucks. This gives you an idea of what my mental state was just one week ago. My journal saved my sanity. It was the one "normal" thing that I could do. I also felt like that guy from the movie "Momento". I had to write everything down in order to remember anything.

<lj-cut>

8:00 p.m. Raymond fell asleep in my arms. Daddy put him in the crib for me.

9:00 p.m. He's making little noises in his sleep. I figure he'll be looking for his "bottie" in another half hour. Yawn, hiccup, fart, grunt -- yeah not long now. Eyes opene, yawned.

10:00 p.m. I didn't think he would make it this far without waking up. So I decided to go o the bathroom real quick. I was shocked to find the corners of my underwear wet with blood/water/fluid.   Not a lot. But enough to see it and feel wet. So I went to the big bathroom and looked at the wound with a hand held mirror. It looks like the my wound is draining from the sides. I freaked a bit. Then realized, well duh, of course it's going to drain. That's why they have the Visiting Nurses Association come in every day to change the dressing. So I'm not sure if I should keep my 8:30 a.m. obgyn appointment tomorrow morning or wait until the VNA comes in a 2:0. Part of me likes the idea of having the Dr. looking at it first thing. But the other part of me thinks that the wound specialist at Midstate said I was fine. I guess I'll wait and see what my undies look like tomorrow a.m. Scary stuf. Anyway, Ray seems to be fretting a bit. So I hauled him to the changing table. I wasn't sure if he peed, but I changed it anyway. Unfortunately, I forgot about the firehouse and he peed on the cloth covering the changing table. Oh well! Then I botched swaddling him and I forgot to give him a pacifier so his howls woke up Daddy. He asked if I needed a hand, but I said no and he went back to bed. He's got work in the morning.

10:30 p.m. I finally got a bottle into him. I think he took an ounce and a half. Then I burped him -- nothing -- He seemed to be upset over me interrupting his dinner. So I gave him some more, which he sucked down like a trooper. He gave me a HUGE burp. But wouldn't settle own. So I suck a pacifier in his mouth and put him down on the dressing table checking his diaper for poopies or other surprises. The diaper was a bust and the intrusion only enraged him further. Botched the swaddle again. I took him for a walk nto the kitchen for another pacifer an a new bottle of formula.

11:00 p.m. Still awake. Had to call in reinforcements and woke Daddy up. Handed him off to you so I could fret about the drainage. Called Grandma and asked her to come over around 8:00 a.m. to watch the baby so I could go to the obgyn appointment. I realized I woul have greater peace of mind hearing from the Doctor first thing than having to wait for the nurse at 2. I feel like a dork. It's just the fluis draining out of me. There's very little blood. Dr. Leff, the wound specialist said not ten hours ago that I was young, healthy an the tissue looked good enough to heal on its own. Nothing changes tha dramatically in one day.

12:00 a.m. Raymond is *still* up. Daddy thinks it's gas as he's been farting up a storm. Poor thing. He quiets down only to rile up again. I feel badly abou waking Daddy but I'm so tired and distracted by this wound thing, I can't help my little buddy. He just said to Raymond, "Now Daddy's going to read you a story." and you screwed up your face in a "Do Not Want!" expression.

12:10 a.m. Daddy is giving Ray another bottle.

1:00 a.m. He's still up. Must be gas. We put him in his rocker and he fell asleep immediately. Daddy went to bed. I stayed up with him in the living room to watch over him.

2:00 a.m. Daddy had a nightmare about sirens an me yelling for him, but we were all OK.

2:30 a.m. Ray was fussing so I picked him up and we both slept cuddled next to each other on the couch.

6:00 a.m. Still sleeping. I had to pee so I handed him off to Daddy. Ray woke up and Daddy fed him, burped him and he fussed. We tried laying Ray down skin to skin on me like they did in the hospital in the frog position but that didn't work. What did work was he pacifier and then being cuddle in my left arm while we both sleep side by side.

7:00 a.m. Daddy said when all three of us were cuddled on the bed that it was more peaceful and full of bliss than any vacation he had ever been on. He said, "Life doesn't get any better than this." Ray was between us. I don't really sleep when he's on the bed. I lie awake and listen to the little noises he makes and make sure that his sleeper or his blanket isn't obstructing his breathing. I also guard against any animals jumping on the bed or one of us rolling over.

8:00 a.m. (11/21/07 Wednesday - One week old) Ray's still sleeping when Grandma shows up.

2:00 p.m. I'm glad I decided to go to the obgyn so they could change the dressing this morning. They found some dead tissue. They cut it away and roughed up the edges. Ouch! I hadn't taken a percoset since 6 a.m. I didn't think it would hurt. My blood pressure was sky high but after they wrapped up the wound, they made me rest and took it again. It was 135/78 which was a lot better than it was during my pregnancy (160/100). The VNA came and changed the dressing again at 1:30 p.m. I'm glad I didn't cancel because although Dr. Pringle did a good job of clenaing it out, I don't think she did a good job of stuffing it. And if no one can come out tomorrow because of Thanksgiving, I won't feel bad about missing a day. The nurse was very gentle. The key is taking a percoset 1/2 hour beore they get here for he pain. She said the woul may be healed in three weeks!!! But I keep hearing different things from different people. I'm getting more familiar with the incision and how it's supposed to feel/work. It looks good. I've got to go back to Dr. Leff in Midsate next week and I'll see Dr Andsuar also so hopefully there will be good news. I'm glad for the week's reprieve. After the Dr's visit today I went to CVS to pick up stuff and to print out pictures from the digital camera. I stopped by the library to pick up the book I had on hold. By the time I got home I wa in terrible pain. (I overdid it.) And I was exhausted. The Dr. yelled at me for driving myself with a C-section. I guess he theory is if I had to stop short, the pain in my inciion could get me into an accident. But I think the real risk is sleep deprivation.

6:30 p.m. I took a two hour nap when I got back. Ray is fussing around. We're on poopy diaper watch and we're a little anxious because it hasn't happened in a few days.

7:00 p.m. Daddy is singing the ABC song to Raymond and froggy. Ray's looking at him like he's the best thing in the world -- Daddy not Froggy. We put Ray in his swing so we could do some chores.

8:23 p.m. Ray's fas asleep in his swing. Daddy's making ham sala for dinner. Gus is eating the ham bone and Tish is eating my yogurt. I'm working on Ray's baby book.

10:45 p.m.   After sleeping most of the night away, Ray awoke with one wet diaper and then drank 3 oz of formula before noddin off. We put him in his bassinet andd went back to bed.

12:45 a.m. Ray's still asleep. I awoke from a nightmare and turned towards Daddy who was getting up to pee. I turned towards him and clutched for Raymond, who was in his bassinet safe and sound. Still no poopy diaper!

1:45 a.m. Raymond woke up cryin to be fed. He's such a sweet little baby. I've been taking percosets all night for the pain. I'm worried they won't last the long weekend. I'll call for a refill on Friday. I hope the Drs' office is opne.

4:45 a.m. Raymond started stirring and woke me up. I was dead asleep. I'm pretty sure he'll want to be fed and changed. I can't wait to hold him again. No poopy diaper yet. We're trying not to be obsessive about it as it's only been 24 hours.

<lj-cut>

Complications

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 17:39:52 GMT

Sorry for leaving you so long in suspense. Things have been a little different around here. Right now I'm on borrowed time. Baby Ray's in his sling (I love that thing!) so I could be called away at any time. I'm hanging in there. I'm trying to find the new normal. But more on that later.
So without further ado, here is the continuation of my birthing saga.

Monday -Day 5 11/19/07

Today is a busy day. This is Raymond's first pediatrician appointment. He's 6.25 oz, so he's gained back some of the weight he lost after birth. The Dr. told us to not to take him out in public until he's 2 months old and make sure everyone purells their hands before touching him so he doesn't catch a cold. He's wonderfully healthy and doing well. Immediately after his appointment, Ctnewdad and I go to my Obgyn. I had scheduled this appointment long before I delivered and we were in luck, I was still on the schedule. They recommended that I see my Dr. just to check my blood pressure after birth. But the dream I had last night about the cat being disembowled and me in a hospital bed made me keep this appointment. It was a good thing.

My C-section wound came open!

Now, not the "important" layer -- the one that's holding my uterus and intestines in. That layer is just fine. It's apparently the 5 cm of fat layers that did not adhere. So P.S. I'm walking around with an open wound that's 15cm long 4cm wide and 5 cm deep. Luckily, I don't know the metric system so I just tell myself that in inches it's not that bad.

Had I not had the dream . . . Had I not kept this appointment . . . ::shudders to think of it::

So my Doctor packs the wound and tells me that she wants me to have a wound vac put in. The catch is that the only people who do this is Midstate Hospital. She makes an appointment to see the wound care specialist there tomorrow.

At 5:30, I have a dentist appointment. He removes the filling he puts in April, finds that my tooth is cracked. He grinds it down past the cracked part and puts in another filling. I feel none of this. He is a most excellent dentist. He said if that doesn't fix the sensitivity, then I should just get the tooth pulled. It's a wisdom tooth and as he put it "not worth a root canal" over.

Ray spent from 9-6 with Grandma at her house today. He loved it. I missed him. I was emotionally worn out and physically exhausted by the end of the day. CTnewDad took all night time feeding shifts for me while I tried to recover.

11/20/07 - 7 days old! Tuesday

Spent the morning cuddling the baby.

Found out that Midstate is "out of plan" for my health insurance. So we're looking at a $3,000.00 deductible and paying 30% of all bills after that. Midstate also wants an $800 deposit for us for today. I start bawling my eyes out. It's bad enough that the only information I can find on wound vacs concern horror stories and it seems that no one has ever experienced my situation in a C-section. I'm frightened and upset and don't want the procedure. Ctnewdad gets on the phone and sees what he can do. It turns out that his insurance will back date me from 11/1/07 onto his policy. And his insurance will pay for everything. The catch is I won't be in the system until Monday.

Grandma came here because it was too cold and wet to take Raymond to her house and stayed with him from 1-6 p.m. while Mommy and Daddy went to Midstate Hospital in Meriden (about 45 minutes away). We borrow my father's GPS so we don't get lost.

Everyone at Midstate was super nice. But that could be because I was inches from bawling my eyes out the wholetime I was there. They mentioned the wound vac: http://www.kci1.com/82.asp and another treatment called hyperbaric oxygen therapy: http://www.jacobi-hyperbaric.com/html/hyperbaric-oxygen-therapy.html. The hyperbaric oxygen therapy is really Leeloo-ish from the Fifth Element and would require that I come in everyday. So I really didn't want to do that. This was all really new and quick and I was so scared. In the end, Dr. Leff said that I was young and healthy and the wound seemed to be healing nicely on it's own. He assigned a VNA to come every day and clean and change the wound. He said it was also OK to shower and wash up with dial soap, but I had an open wound on my back a few years ago that got reinfected from water so I told him I was afraid to do that until the wound closed and he agreed. He confirmed that the layer holding in my insides is OK and it's just the fat cells that came open. I left in a lot of pain because he "debraded" the wound. Which is basically when he cuts away the bad stuff and roughs up the edges of the good stuff so it heals. They also did a wound culture to check to see if I needed to be on antibiotics.

I get home so tired I'm hallucinating. But CTnewDad has to go back to work tomorrow and he's wiped too. He's in the bedroom sleeping. My little darling conked out in my arms and is in his crib sleeping peacefully. He peed through his bassinet sheets twice (remember to point the firehouse down before putting on the diaper!). The sheet is in the wash and the washer makes a nice white noise that puts the baby to sleep. I sleep in the recliner all night, peeking through to the baby in between the crib slats.

Wednesday 11/21/07 - One week old!!!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and marks one week since you got your circumcision. It's healed perfectly. His little dighty looks so good that we no longer coat a gauze pad with A & D lotion. Everyone thinks Ray's the world's cutest baby. He is very much loved. I love showing off pictures of him. I love the funny noises and grunts and beeps he makes in his sleep. I wake up at night to watch him sleep to make sure he's still breathing. I'm terrified of SIDS. He's such a special baby boy.

Baby Routine:

Baby wakes up - check the diaper - put wipe over fire house - change the baby - change his clothes if necessary
Reswaddle if he's fussy (I'm lousy at swaddling)
Offer bottle - burp 1/2 way through
Cuddle baby until he falls asleep

** Baby Crying - more later **

Happy Thanksgiving everyone: The birth story!

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 05:10:01 GMT

It's been 8 days since my darling baby was born. It's about 11 p.m. at night and my little love is asleep in his rocker. Ctnewdad is down for the count. He's been a real trooper, taking the night shift for the majority of this very full and bizarre week. Even though he's looking forward to a three day weekend, I'm taking the night shift for as much as I can handle tonight.

Luckily, I caught a nice nap at my parent's house today after the turkey was consumed. And a brief one with the baby when I was putting him under. Of course, the little one has been "cluster feeding" and this may get interrupted while I go change and feed him.  Even more luckily, I'm prepared. So I'm eating my yogurt and consulting my notes (I've been keeping a written journal) and I'm about to record . . . My birth experience. I put it under the cut to save your friends list. A word of warning, this is going to be graphic, medically personal, and probably boring as hell.:

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The lead up . . . Monday, November 12th (Or T minus 2 days) - I went to my Obgyn appointment as normal. My blood pressure was in the 160/100 range STILL. Yet as I wasn't 38 weeks and my doctor wasn't there, they didn't want to admit me to the hospital. So they sent me home saying they'll send a VNA to my house later to check the pressure there and to come back tomorrow at 3. Now, I'm a little pissed at this because at 3pm tomorrow my blood pressure is going to be the same. So then my insurance, Oxford, says it's not going to pay for the visiting nurse to come around. So the Dr. wants me to take my own BP. My parents have a machine. None of us can get it to work. I call Jacknife and she gets it to work. She trained to be a medical assistant. It's still high, but probably from all the aggravation.

Tuesday, November 13th (T-minus 1 day) - My Drs office finally gets Oxford to pay for one VNA visit. She comes today and yup the BP is still in the same range. As it is at 3 p.m. Two doctors and a midwife get on the phone and argue about what to do. My Dr, Fletcher is no where in sight. So Dr. Adsuar steps in. I get sent to the hospital with the caveat that I'm in there until I give birth which will probably be in a couple of weeks. I bring lots of books and knitting. That night, I go into labor on my own. It's like a bad period and I'm hooked up to two monitors and an IV. So peeing every two hours is a challenge as I have to take the Rose parade with me to the john. They decide not to insert the miso pill into my vagina as I'm having contractions.  I get no sleep Tuesday night as they decide to put an oxygen mask on me and check the monitors every 20 minutes or so.

Wednesday, November 14th (T-minus 15 hours) Around 5:30 a.m. Fletcher comes in and tells me that my contractions have stopped and they'll put me on miso to see if that will start them up again. Around 8 a.m. the resident doctor does an ultrasound and a painful vaginal exam. The baby's fine. My cervix is tighter than a drum. I go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out when she's done. Around 11 a.m. my midwife Amanda comes in and administers the miso, which isn't as bad as the vaginal exam but still not a picnic. Around 2 p.m. she comes back and strips my membranes -- which fucking hurts -- and finds I'm at 1 cm dilated. Around 6 p.m. they bring me down to the labor floor and administer picotin. Here's where it gets fun. I start contracting almost immediately. It's un-fucking-pleasant, but I'm managing by crushing CTnewdad's hands and breathing. They don't get the results they're looking for so Dr. Adsuar comes in and does another vagina exam which has me nearly screaming and breaks my water. I heard it didn't hurt. Well that's bullshit. About ten gallons drench me and I start asking for my epidural. I'm now 3 cm dilated and it's now 4:45 p.m. They tell me to wait a half hour because the contractions are starting and they don't want to slow them down. Now, I don't know how to read the contraction meter. But when it was reading 12 the night before, it was a stabbing sharp pain that lasted about a minute and I didn't get another one for a long while. Almost immediately after my water breaks, I get contractions that are reading 60. They are lasting three minutes long and are over lapping so that there are no breaks in between. I am sobbing, gripping the rails on the bed until I break blood vessels in my arms, and trying desperately to breath with my awesome coach. CTnewdad gets the award for grace under pressure. At one point, I completely break and tell him that I just can't do this anymore. I start begging for any drugs -- any. I want to pass out. I can't take the pain. It is truly awful. I keep telling myself that fear makes the pain worse. I think if I had some down time between the contractions it would have been better or if the pain was constant instead of the contracting wave. They give me the epidural at 5:15 p.m. I love the anesthesiologist. I love the big needle in my back. I feel nothing almost immediately and it's such a relief, such a joy that I'm content. I'm no longer this screaming, blubbering insane person. I'm me again. I tell CTnewdad that this is the best I've felt in 9 months. I take a short nap. But things aren't going so well. I'm still contracting like a fiend, only the baby's heartbeat goes down after every one. So they decide to go up my hoo ha again and stick a probe directly on the baby's head -- the baby that's still inside my uterus. I feel none of this so I'm like "Go ahead!' Dr. Adsuar also jiggles the baby a bit. This feels interesting, but I'm not in any pain. I'm starting to smile. I can definitely do this. I also can't imagine having to go through this without the epidural. I feel humbled that my mother did. Well around 8:30 p.m. the Dr comes back and tells me that not only is the baby's heartbeat faltering, but there's compression on the cord, as if he's squeezing it after every contraction. She doesn't feel that the baby would survive prolonged labor. She's going to do a C-section. I'm actually thrilled by this. No more pain! (insert ominous foreshadowing music here). She gives me the gloom and doom speech and I sign a waiver saying I understand this is major abdominal surgery and I might die. They wheel me into the OR. It's bright in there. Again, I want to kiss the anesthesiologist. He numbs me from boobs to toes. I can't feel anything. They put up the big sheet. I decide I don't want to see it anyway. CTnewdad comes in wearing scrubs. They put my arms out straight. Luckily, they don't strap me in. But they do put an oxygen mask on me. I take it off briefly to cough and find I can't feel my chest or abdomen to cough. It's weird. My baby is born at 8:43 p.m. It's not real until I hear him cry. Then I look at CTnewdad and it's really real. That was our baby. We made this. The apgar score is 9, which is a relief because I heard most baby's get around a 7. 10 is the highest. They put Humpty Dumpty back together again and off we go into the recovery room. My baby is gorgeous and absolutely perfect. He weighs 6lbs 7.2 oz. He's 19-1/2" long. His head circumference is 13-1/4". He was born at 38 weeks and 1 day. His heart rate was 120. His respitory rate was 48 and his temperature was 99. I get to try breast feeding in the recovery room. He took to it like a little trooper. He has a full head of black hair with blond highlights and the biggest hazel eyes. I'm completely smitten and in love. He stays with us until I get feeling back in my legs then I'm off to my room and Ctnewdad and the baby are off to get weighed. It's at this point that I lose all concept of night and day. The lactation nurses make sure I'm doing all right. And I don't sleep more than a few minutes each hour. I'm a baby poker and will get up to check to see if the baby is breathing or moving and if I don't like what I see, I jiggle the baby for a response. In fact, it's 11:41 p.m. and I'm going to do that right now. brb. . . . Still sleeping. I rubbed his downy little cheek and he moved into the caress. I love him so much it hurts.

Thursday, 11/15/07 - Day two with Baby. I can eat breakfast! After fasting from 6 p.m. Tuesday night. My parents come up to see him. They are over the moon. He leaves us all briefly to get his circumcision. He pees once and howls like a banshee and then holds his pee for over a day because he doesn't want to hurt himself again. But once he Niagara Falls over his diaper, he's fine. I'm having a fun time breast feeding. He's a natural latcher and it doesn't hurt at all to breast feed. The pain in my abdomen however is another matter. But I've got a catheter in and don't move around a lot so alls good. CTnewdad is officially on vacation and spends pretty much every waking minute with us. Then they take the catheter out. And as I stand, blood leaks out all over my slippers. I'm on two percosets every three hours. I'm stiff and feeling a lot of pain. I pee no problem and they show me how to use a peri bottle to clean my hoo ha. I have 15 staples in my stomach. I'm allowed to shower. But the shower isn't comforting. It's like taking a sponge bath only more awkward.

Friday 11/16/07 - Day three with Baby. I go to my breast feeding class. My little guy has to stay behind in the nursery. I miss him and I heard he was screaming for me while I was gone. I'm moving a little better today. I walked to the class and back. Percoset is my friend. I learned a lot. I'm very eager to breast feed. Raymond is a good latcher, but he gets frustrated because he's hungry and the milk isn't in yet. So I pretty much have him at the boob all day long. It's wonderful bonding time. I like that he's getting collestrum. I haven't slept in two days. Great Aunt Rosemary comes up and visits him. The hospital photographer takes his picture, but I don't like any of the proofs.

Saturday 11/17/07 - Day three with Baby. I breast fed from 6 p.m. last night to 3 a.m. this morning. The baby won't stop crying or sucking. At 3 a.m. the nurse comes in and says she's taking him to the nursery so I can get some sleep. I don't want to be without him, but it's obvious he's hungry. I authorize feeding him formula. He gulps down an ounce. I feel wretched. I sleep three blessed hours until the baby comes back at 6. He's howling and there's nothing coming out of me. We feed him formula again and all is happy and quiet. We get released after my flu shot and his hepatitis shot. The baby's discharge weight is a little over 5 lbs. It's almost 10% of his body weight and my milk hasn't come in yet. I resign myself to formula feeding and breast pumping. Truthfully, the baby is much happier that way. We're home by 2 pm The cats are totally fine with the new addition --even when he cries. The dog takes it also as status quo. It's like he's always been here. Gus gets a little weepy when the baby cries and runs around in circles trying to help. Tish thinks he's another piece of furniture. Ash wants to cuddle with all of us. My parents bring over a casserole of mac and cheese and turkey meatballs and a pot of beef vegetable soup. I take a glorious bite of non hospital food and pain fills up my left wisdom tooth. The same tooth that got a cavity filled in April during my 1st trimester. I hope it's just that cervix sensitivity thing and try to ignore it. I do not sleep a wink tonight. The baby stays in a bassinet in our room on CTnewDad's side. Every little noise, bleep or blurt, I'm up like a shot checking on the baby. My abdomen hurts! More percoset.

Sunday 11/17/07 - Day four with Baby. My Mom makes a wonderful ham dinner for us because CTnewdad's parents are coming down.   I can't eat it because of the pain in my tooth. Guess it's off to the dentist tomorrow. They are enchanted with my little one and we have a wonderful visit. I fall asleep for the last half of it. I'm in a lot of pain. The baby goes for his first pediatric visit 9 a.m. tomorrow and I have a terrible nightmare tonight. The nightmare is that Gus lunged for Ash and ripped out her abdomen. Then when I wake up from that dream, I'm still in the hospital. Only I'm all alone. I'm in the hospital bed and I can't get out of it. It takes me an hour to realize I'm in my own bedroom and it was just a dream. I remember that I still have a obgyn appointment at 10:30 on Monday that I scheduled in advance before the baby was due. I decide to keep it. And it's a good thing I did.

Next session: The complications.

(I"ve got to pee and poke the baby again. It's 12:09!)

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Hospital trips

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:12:53 GMT

So Monday, my doctors decided that all my tests were all borderline that they felt the most comfortable putting me in the hospital for 24 hour observation. I got treated to a battery of tests, blood pressure and fetal monitoring every 4 hours. And I had to do another 24 hour urine collection again. However in the hospital, you just pee into a "hat" and the nurses actually collect it for you. And at night time you don't have to call them every time you pee (every hour), you can wait until the hat is full, which is kinda gross but more condusive to sleep.

Well, they decided that I could go home on Tuesday night but that I had to be on strict bedrest for the rest of my pregnancy. Which could be a whole month! I informed my work and they were really cool with it. It was tough to stay in bed all day though. I read a bunch of books. I did move to the couch to play on the laptop a bit (That's where I am now). It's also better to watch the food network and Knitty Gritty on the DIY network. I got a litle lonely and depressed as soon as the sun went down. But luckily CTnewdad came home soon after.

Today, the doctor wanted to see me again. My blood pressure was awful. 160/110 -- which is really bad. But my cervix was hard so they did not want to induce. What they're going to do is wait until Monday. If my blood pressure is down, then they'll keep monitoring me. They sent me for blood work today too, so as long as those results come back OK nothing will happen until Monday. Monday, however, if my blood pressure is still obnoxious they are going to put me back in the hospital. They will then try to soften my cervix with this drug called misonidazole for 24 hours. Then if contractions don't happen, they'll put me on pitocin to induce labor. If by Wednesday, I'm not in labor, they'll give me a C-section. So we may be bringing Baby Ray home next Sunday! It all depends on what happens. Neat stuff.

BP back up at 154/100 and I gained 5 lbs!

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:35:20 GMT

However, there wasn't any protein in my urine, so I'm still not on bed rest. I do, however, have to go back on Monday and Thursday next week. So they can keep a closer eye on my blood pressure and monitor how the baby is doing. The baby seems to be doing really well, though. He's active. His heartbeat is a steady 150 beats per second, which is normal. I'm not having any contractions and my amniotic fluid levels are good. He weighs 5 lbs 15 oz, so almost 6 lbs! If he gains the usual 1/2 lb per week, he'll be 8 lbs by the time he's born. (Providing I go on my due date of 12/4/07).

I was really bummed about the weight gain. Now, this puts me at 1 lb less than I was in February when I first gotten pregnant. I really didn't want to gain the pregnancy 15 lbs and my doctor (at that time) also didn't want me to gain anything. Fooey!

So I'm laying off the cookies and french fries this week. At least in theory. No, seriously. If I tell myself I can't have them, it'll be a disaster, so I guess it's back to moderation. Feh! Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

Good thing I didn't buy any Halloween candy this year. We were giving out Mott's applesauce and Fruit parfaits in the individual servings. CTnewdad was like, "Are you trying to get our house egged?" But we didn't have any trick or treaters. Which is good as I fell asleep on the couch watching the History channel's special on Vlad Dracula /Vlad the Impaler. They were computer regenerating his castles and I thought that was neat-o.

Blood Pressure 132/80! Whoo Hoo!

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:44:45 GMT

Well, there was a trace amount of protein in my urine, but since my blood pressure was down 18 points they said not to worry about it. Baby's doing great. I got to see his little heart beat for awhile and he was sucking on his hand, so he's swallowing good. The stress test went fine. Next week, we find out how big he is.

But for now, no bed rest. No hypertension. No inducement on the radar. Next week is 34 weeks and we're doing really well. So I'm happy the baby gets to cook for a little while longer. I feel good. I've been exhausted this whole week. I was up for a few hours last night between two and four because I was stuffed up and ctnewdad was snoring and I couldn't fall back asleep after my nightmare. I dreamed I was all alone in the maternity ward and my old doctor -- the mysogynistic asshat was there. And he wouldn't take "go away" and "I want my real doctor" for an answer. So the dream ended with me walking out of the hospital in a Johnny coat, lugging my suitcase. LOLz

We did still pack my maternity bag and we're pretty much ready to go.

Now, I've got to concentrate on cleaning the house. I washed all the baby clothes yesterday and I'll fold them back into the drawers tonight. This Saturday, CTnewdad is going to install the car seats, the stroller, the baby jumper thing and fix the bathroom shelves so the baby's bath tub and stuff can go there and give us some more room in the nursery.

I'll probably post a big pic spam tomorrow, once Ctnewdad resizes my pictures. So keep an eye out on my <lj user="Jamiekswriter"> journal for it.

Pre-hypertension

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 16:59:23 GMT

Well, my blood pressure is up. It came in at 150/100. Which the Dr. said anything in the three digits for the second number is alarming. However, since my last one was 140/98, it only went up two points so it's not anything to be worried about yet.

She did tell me to pack my bag. They won't induce unless it's life threatening before 34 weeks (I'm at 32). But after 34 weeks, if there's something other than high blood pressure they will induce labor. So Baby Ray could be making his appearance in another two weeks! I was expecting a full 8 more weeks, so that came as a bit of a shock. As CTnewdad said, "Well, thanks for my morning dose of adrenaline. I guess I won't be needing that second cup of coffee now." My mother is thrilled. She can't wait to hold the baby. My Grandfather is now predicting that Ray will be born on Halloween -- which is his birthday. So the poll is Halloween, Thanksgiving, and I'm holding strong to December 4th. But that just may be wishful thinking on my part.

The Drs. office wants to see me every week from now on. Maybe twice a week depending on how my tests go. They're of course checking for protein in my urine, which would mean pre-eclampsyia. But so far no protein at all. They're also going to do an ultrasound (pre approved by my insurance company - whoo!) and a 20 minute stress test where I lie down, drink juice and listen to the baby's heartbeat while the machine records it and any contractions I might be having. The one I had today was interesting. I had one slight contraction, but it was barely a bump on the meter. It's like the seismac machine they use for earth quakes. The baby is moving all around. I saw him sucking on his thumb and smiling for the camera again on the ultrasound.

8 months - 32 weeks tomorrow

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 16:08:25 GMT

Things are going well. The baby is very active. He likes to dance to music and he responds to his Grandmother and Father's voice. He doesn't like Tish sleeping on him and will often kick up until she moves. The cats are having a hard time adjusting to all the cleaning and moving, but we're trying to make them more comfortable. We bought them a new litter box, been doling out the wet food and will probably spring for a Kitty condo.

On the medical test front, my blood pressure is on the high side, but not as of yet dangerous or in the hypertension arena. I don't have any protein in my urine, which is the sign for pre-eclampsyia. However, they had me do a 24 hour urine collection. Which I'm sure wouldn't have been such an inconvenience if I *wasn't* pregnant. But when you have to pee every two hours -- even at night -- it was not something I want to repeat. I'm glad that's over. They did that to get a baseline reading for my liver and kidneys. In the event that my liver/kidneys start to fail, they'll know what's the danger zone. They also did a host of blood work today too. I really don't mind the blood work. I have good veins and it doesn't hurt. As long as I don't have to drink anymore of that orange goop! But luckily, the diabetes isn't a problem, so that's good.

My next Drs. appointment is on October 11th. There will be another ultrasound and a non-stress test. I saw that on TV. Basically, you lie down on a bed and have these electrodes stuck to you and they do the ultrasound and see how the baby is doing. So we're coming down the home stretch. 8 more weeks!

I'm working on my baby scrapbook. The first one anyway. This little one is just for Baby Ray so he can flip through it. It's got lots of colors and big pictures. So he can see his family and point them out. I'm hoping to finish the grandparents section this weekend.

29 weeks

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:30:39 GMT

Your Baby's Development

Approximate length 15 to 16 inches, weight 3 to 4 pounds.
He is able to use all five of his senses, hearing sounds and seeing bright lights in his mother's environment, and tasting, touching, and even smelling the amniotic fluid surrounding him.
His toenails have grown and are completely formed.
His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain.

Neat-o! (Is it over yet?)

11 more weeks.

28 Weeks / 7 months / Into the 3rd Trimester!

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 17:42:53 GMT

I just came back from my OB appointment. I'm fine -- except for borderline high blood pressure 138/90 whatever those numbers mean. They're going to keep watching me for signs of hypertension and they scheduled me for an ultrasound in two weeks to make sure the baby is growing OK. There's no protein in my urine so that means at the moment I'm not at risk for pre-eclampsia. Unfortunately, that could change at anytime, especially as my due date draws near. I can't believe Baby Ray will be here within 12 weeks!

The best part of that? They knew that Oxford needs to pre-approve all the ultrasounds and they've done it. So I'll definitely not have to pay out of pocket for any ultrasound expenses. What a HUGE relief that is.

More good news. The baby's heartbeat is at 120 beats per minute and he's very active. The baby dances to certain music. He likes Cher and my Ipop, specifically Darshan's B21. He seems to take Jimmy Buffett in stride, but will tap out the chorus if I sing to "Fins". My fundus measurement is 31" (normal would be 28") so me and the baby are the just about the right size for our time.

And best news of all: I DON'T HAVE DIABETES! The second, nasty 3-hour test came back negative. So I had a chocolate mousse with my lunch to celebrate. (Pregnant Women need to stay away from Nica's Market! Yummy Bad! Day two of the BLT & Cheese with mayo on rye sangwich!)

I love my new doctor's office. They know my name and my chart. They're always so nice and helpful. I feel so confident about having them deliver my baby. The midwives are great too. I hope I get Betsy or Amanda in the delivery room. I made an appointment for Branford Pediatrics to discuss having them as Ray's Doctor. Unfortunately, Guilford Pediatrics doesn't accept my insurance so we couldn't go with them. But the good news is Branford is just as close and comes highly reccommended from my friends.

We got a ton of swag from our friends and family. IRS Girl and Cans gave us a play yard, kiddie backback carrier, tons of clothes, tons of sheets and a gorgeous changing table. My inlaws bought us our beautiful crib and baby mattress. My Mom made us the curtains in the room, painted the room and the armoire and my parents bought us a Lane recliner. Chynakatt brought over some really sweet baby clothes! So cute! So now the baby's room is all done! Except I want to knit a rug for by the crib and we want to stick a few more decals on the laundry doors. I'm still hunting for some big wooden letters to spell out Ray's name on the door. I'm sure I'll run across them at some craft show.

I feel good. Yesterday I actually felt pre-pregancy normal as in higher brain functions and everything. I'm no longer sick. Although I still am very tired.

The house is looking good. I really like my roomba vacuuming robot. Now if I could only get Rosie from the Jetsons for the rest of the housework, that would be keeno. We did 1/2 of the bedroom closet last week and what a difference it's made. This weekend we're doing my 1/2 (ominous organ music). I still haven't gotten to my writing desk yet. I'm hoping to do that this weekend while ctnewdad tries out his new toy. He bought a really expensive brush cutter that I'm hoping will level our Jurraissic Park backyard and environs. He can't wait to try it out too. I think he's going to give it a test run on our side yard tonight after work. I made him buy headset and safety goggles and he bought steel tipped boots too. So I don't have to worry about him so much.

F

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:48:12 GMT

So the Drs. office called today. I failed the glucose test -- by a small margin, but I now have to take a three hour test with a greater concentration of the liquid ::shudder:: and three more blood tests.

I'm going Tuesday morning 8/28. I have to eat three extra slices of bread on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. (I'm not sure why, the Dr. said so ::shrug::). Then I have to fast after midnight on Monday. I'm so not looking forward to this.

This test will find out if I have gestational diabetes or not. However, I think it looks good that I don't because I just barely failed the test.

Bleah

My surprise Dr.'s visit today

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 17:58:58 GMT

I went to the Drs. this morning because I had some issues. The good news is that I'm fine and the baby is fine. Everything that I was worried about was normal. Since I was a last minute appointment, I saw Betsy.-- one of the nurse midwives -- at 9:00 a.m. She gave me a pelvic exam and everything was closed up tight and I wasn't leaking amniotic fluid as I was concerned I had been. She was wonderful! What a difference from this practice to the old one in New Haven. We listened to the baby's heartbeat and it was normal. I thanked her for seeing me on such short notice and she said, "That's what we're here for." Which was great. She also took a fundal height measurement:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_measuring-large-or-small-for-dates_1453305.bc?Ad=com.bc.common.AdInfo%403e08a8be

Mine was at 32 cm, (I'm 25 weeks today, so it should be around 23-27 cm) which she said I was measuring large for my due date. But I told her that was probably my fibroids. She agreed, but scheduled me for an ultrasound with Dr. Fletcher on 9/13/07 anyway, just to make sure.

The bad news is that my blood pressure is high, but that could have been because I was so anxious. They sent me to the lab for a few blood tests and a urine test. While I was there, I also had them give me the glucouse test. I didn't puke it up -- but it was a close call. It tastes exactly like the Orange McDonald's drink only sweeter. It was chilled (Thank God) and I got it 3/4 of the way down before I couldn't take another sip. I went to the bathroom and chugged the rest and then prayed and concentrated that I wouldn't yuke it up. It worked. Although the technician said that technically, I had to have drank it in front of her so she could say that I didn't throw up or pour it out. I assured her that I did drink the nasty stuff and that I wouldn't sabotage my test results that way. Her name was Crystal and she was very nice to me. I'm so glad I didn't have to take the test all over again because I wasn't in her sight. I had been stressing about this test in a major way. I was literally getting sick over just the thought of it. So I'm glad it's over and I know what to expect should I have to go with the yuckier version if I fail this test. And at least it's closer to home too. Also I thought the lab in New Haven was too dirty so I went to this new lab in Branford. is right after La Luna restaurant and the Subaru dealer. I wasn't dizzy or nauseaous and I was able to drive without a problem. (Otherwise I would have called or waited for someone to pick me up.)

I'll find out on Monday 8/27/07 the results of everything when I meet with Dr. Fletcher. Keep your fingers crossed that I pass my glucose otherwise it's a THREE HOUR test with a heavier syrup.

I finally got to work at 12:30 p.m. and had something to eat. Through all of this, the baby never stopped kicking. He's finally quieted down some now. So everything is OK. I'm tired, but very happy to be at work.

2nd Trimester Screening Results

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 16:28:15 GMT

I took all day Friday off so I could go to my first Dr.'s appointment with the new Obgyn. I liked her. It was a nice, quick visit and I heard the baby's heartbeat, which is always a relief. I might have another bladder infection though. I find out the culture results tomorrow. Blargh!

Then, I had to go back to Long Wharf for another anatomical ultrasound. We got a great shot of the baby's foot and a blurry profile, but they were really cute. And the best news, that barring anything major, the baby will be born healthy. There's no trace of birth defects. Whoo!

On another note, the heat has been sapping my energy and making me feel lousy. But I keep the good news in mind and that helps. The nursery is completely painted. The armoire is painted and the decals are attached. The floor is clean. All that's needed now is to put up the wainscotting of the border decals and get the crib and the changing table. We've had no luck with that. Ikea discontinued the ones we were looking at and Babiesrus, has our second choice as unavailable. However, Ikea came out with a new catalog this weekend and I found the replacement crib and changing table. So if ctnewdad likes it and it's in stock in New Haven this weekend, we're going to snatch it up.

Next up is the glucose test. I'm dreading it. I'm afraid I'm going to barf it up all over the lab. ::shudder::

Hippy Trippy

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 15:53:04 GMT

So Monday, Ctnewdad and I went on over to Yale to have our "Smart Start" session of our birthing classes. Taken with the 5 week course, it's free. Which is good because I'm glad I didn't have to pay $30 for this nonsense.

On the one hand, it was very informative. There were some neat exercises and nutrition pointers that I enjoyed. On the other hand, it was really like something out of the sixties.

I'll also have to note that 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. isn't my best time of the day and during the last meditation, where she turned off the lights and was playing nature inspired music, to have us relax (I really should have asked her what the CD was, because I really liked it) I started to fall asleep. Ctnewdad told me later that he was trying not to fart. He also didn't appreciate trying to do Kegel exercises with me.

The really neat thing was meeting Dr. Wang who is doing a study on accupuncture. If you have lower back pain (DING!) and are 25 weeks pregnant (next month), you can volunteer to have her put three litle needles in your ear and get interviewed a few times. Apparently, it really works. So it's nice to know that there's another resource out there for me.

Pregnant like me

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:02:21 GMT

Toni Collette is 19 weeks pregnant! Me tooo! She was the Mom in 6th Sense and was in Connie and Carla and of course, Little Miss Sunshine.

Drea De Matteo is 5 months pregnant.

Nicole Ritchie, Christina Aguillera, and Nancy Grace are all going to deliver about the same time I am. Neat!

Finally Some Good News

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 16:37:13 GMT

Got some good news from the genetisist at Yale today. My level 2 ultrasound and blood test screening tests came back today. The Down's Syndrome and Trisophony X tests came back the lowest they can be at 1 in 20,000 risk. My AFP which I was so worried about because I showed an increase above normal during the ultrasound, was confirmed under normal range at 1.96 (from 2.96 which is at risk). And my sickle cell risk is also normal. So my baby is no longer (again) at risk. The only test we're waiting on is the Fragile X, but the genetisist didn't seemed too concerned about it so I'm not worried either. It was mainly a "let's cover all the bases" thing.

Thank you to everyone who commented and listened to me rant and get scared. I don't know why they have to put us "advanced maternally aged" chicks through such panic, but I'd guess it would be to cut down on lawsuits.

Now, if only my back would stop spasming things would be OK.

It's a Boy!

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 15:02:18 GMT

So I meet my mother at Yale down on Long Wharf. She's so excited that she'd already been there for about an hour. Unfortunately, once we get to the Dr.'s office we're kept waiting an hour and a half for the ultrasound. So I don't get in there until 5 p.m. (My appointment was at 3:30 p.m.). The really good news is that there was a "flagpole". I've got pictures of it. It's going to be a little boy. His name is going to be Raymond James. Or as I'm calling him Baby Ray. My Mom and Dad want to call him R. James or our James and I said if they do, it would no long be Grammy and Grampa, it will be Babe and Bubba. So I hope that nips that in the bud.

Anyway, there was some bad news. My AFP (alpha feta protein) levels are high. More about that here:

http://www.webmd.com/baby/Alpha-Fetoprotein-AFP-in-Blood

Normal is between 1-2 and mine were 2.97. So not tragically high, but it does place the risk of spinal bifida and neural tubes disorder at a greater risk. Although, the spine was closed. So that's a good sign. They couldn't get a decent brain scan because the baby was moving all around and they couldn't get a 4-chambered heart scan either. So I have to come back in a month. Which, I'm happy with. I like seeing the baby on TV. They also took three blood tests to work with the previous ones I did and the ultrasound to get the better results. I'll find out next week via phone how two of them did and by letter if it's good or by phone if it's not in about three weeks. I'm actually feeling rather positive about the whole situation. My cousin put it best yesterday when he said, "If there is a defect, there is nothing you can do about it now and we'll deal with it after the baby is born. There's no sense worrying or getting upset about the results. Whatever will be has already happened." So that made me feel better.

Dr Lynch (the asshat) ordered the wrong blood test, which is why he showed higher results of Downs Syndrome and Neural Tubes disorder than Yale did. Instead of working cooperatively with the tests I already taken, he did his own. So, I didn't need the test he gave me and I got my blood taken for no reason. Which could have been avoided if he A. Listened to what I was telling him during my appointment or B. Read my freakin' chart.

I'm researching new OBGYN's and I think I'm going to go with Obstetrics-Gynecology & Infertility Group, PC out of North Branford. My friend Fil and HarleyMom gave rave reviews.

Anyway, I had been promising myself some Swedish meatballs at Ikea, which is next door from the clinic. Unfortunately, it was so late by the time we got out of there and I was so hungry, I ate to fast and it all came right back up in a loud, disgusting fashion. At least I made it to the bathroom in time. I almost had to grab one of the steel buckets they had on display. Boy that would have been a conversation piece. "This is the barf bucket I had to buy at Ikea when I was 4 months pregnant with Ray."

When I got home, I was so tired and miserable that I was just sobbing on the phone with ctnewdad. I went into the bedroom and found out that while I was gone, he had moved the big computer armoire out of the baby's room so we can now paint. And he rearranged all the bedroom furniture, just how we discussed. So my bedroom looked perfect. Then I started to cry with happiness.

Luckily the 4th of July was a blubbering & puke free day. Although my family can't play poker together without wanting to kill each other. I'm a glutton for punishment so I played 7 card instead of taking a nap like my wiser cousin did. I came in third, but couldn't catch a straight all night. Every hand I had a making of an open ended straight and I couldn't do it. My Grandfather is the King of two pairs though. And Ctnewdad won a pot with a pair of fives.

Back to the emergency room

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 14:53:02 GMT

Steeeer-ike Three!

Actually, I think it's strike two. But I've decided to change my Obgyn. I had been off the antibiotics for about 4 days when the pain started coming back. It was definitely less than it had been, but I had remembered that that was how it all started and since the pain woke me out of a dead sleep early Friday morning, I did not want to go through the weekend in agony. So at 9:00 a.m. on Friday, I called my Obgyn and asked them to call in a refill for the prescription. They said they would get back to me. I called again at 2:30 p.m. They said that Dr. Lynch (who's a mysogynistic prick) would get back to me before the end of the day.

I'll break in the story to let you in on the Dr. Lynch story. The Friday before this last one, I had my regular appointment and met with Dr. Lynch. As a woman, have you ever had a Doctor who would not listen to you just because you were a woman? That's Dr. Lynch. He spoke over me, raising his voice if I continued to finish my sentence. He disavowed anything I said about my prior treatment. He told me I needed to have a level one ultrasound. I told him I did that last month during my first trimester screening. He then told me I needed to get a blood test done to check on neural tubes disorder. I told them they were going to do that at my 2nd semester screening this week. He said no, that was just an ultrasound. I said no, the genetist at Yale said there would be more genetic disorder testing in July. He said no and said to go get the blood test. He also gave me a script to go get a urine culture, one week after I finished my antibiotics to make sure my bladder infection was gone. So I went and got the blood test and would have gone for the urine test today because that would be a week later. Anyway, I left my meeting with him thinking that some men should just retire. He was in his 60's and definitely had the old boys school attitude towards women. I hated him.

Anyway, flash forward a week later, this past Friday. He calls me back at 4:45 pm. I'm assuming that he's going to ask a few questions and send me to CVS for my prescription. He refuses and says that I need to go to the emergency room to get a culture and then *they'll* prescribe me an antibiotic. I then mention that I'm concerned about the pain and that I've noticed that my stool has been black. He ignores the fact that I'm in pain and says about the black stools that it's either the iron from my prenatal vitamins or I'm bleeding from my lower G.I. tract, and if that was the case "I can't help you. You need a gastronologist." I queried (in tears) where I was going to find one on Friday night and he said go to the emergency room. I queried again about my concerns for the pain and he said there was nothing he could do, go to the emergency room. So I'm very upset. I don't want to go to the emergency room. So as I'm getting off the phone, he says, oh regarding the neural tubes blood test, you came back high risk. There's a 1 in 120 chance your baby will be born with a birth defect like Down's Syndrome or Spinal Bifida.

Like this is the time to discuss this? On my cell phone, driving home at 5:00 p.m. on a Friday night after he sent me to the emergency room.

So I rallied and said, "That's not what the genetisist at Yale said. She said my Downs Risk was something like 1 in 800."

"When was this?"

"During my first trimester screening."

Long pause. "Oh, well you need to schedule additional testing."

(still trying to control tears) "As I told you last week, I am going July 3rd. Would you like me to tell them that I took a blood test that came out with an increase risk for neural tubes."

"Well, they'll do that test, but yes you can tell them that the alpha-fetoprotein (MSAFP) test came back at risk."

You can read more at http://edition.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00417.html. Which is very depressing and scares the hell out of me.

I'm thinking, if they're going to do that test, why did I have to do a blood test? Oh right, because Dr. Lynch didn't listen to me when I told him that.

So I said fine and got off the phone. And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. So I make it home and my mother takes me to the emergency room. My husband delays his trip down to Atlantic City, even though I asked him not to (God bless him though) and we all sit in the E-room on a Friday night.

As usual, Yale is excellent and got me in a gown and a bed right away. They take blood and two urine samples, hook me up to an IV of saline. Do a rectal exam, Send me for an ultrasound. Four hours later, I'm fine. No UTI. No bleeding from lower GI. The baby is fine. They did extensive measurements. She/he's 11cm from crown to rump. Ctnewdad saw the baby moving just fine. The emergency room Dr. said she looked and looked but couldn't "find a flagpole" so it might be a baby girl. The staff at Yale was wonderful to me. Everyone was very nice and attentive and answered all of our questions.

So what was the pain I was feeling? The baby moving. So that upset me even more and I said to the Yale Doctor, "So I'm a hypochondriac then?" And she said, "No, you're a first time pregnant Mom and all this is new to you." She was a woman by the way.

Why couldn't my doctor have said that to me? Or "The pain you're feeling may not be the bladder infection coming back, it could be the baby?"

Instead, he scared me half to death. Not to mention the totally bullshit way he introduced the neural tube defect. First of all, since I'm "advanced maternal aged" I *know* I'm at risk. I told him that Yale was testing me and quite frankly I trust the genetisist over the lab technician anyday. Who I will be seeing tomorrow. As scheduled. As I told Dr. Lynch. Who is a condescending fuck.

So I'm out. They're fired. I had to stop my mother from calling them up and REAMING the doctor out. I told her that once I found a new doctor, I would write a consise letter explaining the reasons why I was leaving and would not recommend them to another patient. C.c. it to my general practitioner who recommended them to me and that would be it.

I really don't want to switch because of the paperwork and potential insurance hassle, but I do not want this man taking care of me or my baby and it would just be my luck that I'd get this jerk in the maternity ward. So I asked a few friends and I'm going to be calling up new doctor's office and see if anyone would take me in. I'll keep you updated.

My Mom is going in on the ultrasound with me tomorrow. I'm hoping they'll let her in the examination room with me. It will really tickle her to see the baby moving on the ultrasound. (They do let your partner in, so I hope she doesn't have to make the trip for nothing.) I'm hoping we can find out if it's a baby girl or boy, but as long as it's healthy that will be enough for me. Although, truthfully with all the negativity I've been subjected to about this pregnancy, I don't feel that s/he will be. Athough even with a 1 in 120 chance of having spinal bifida, that means there's a 119 of 120 chance s/he won't. I wish my doctor wasn't such as asshole.

Mama Trauma

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 13:35:11 GMT

So I spent Saturday night in the emergency room. Luckily, it was Yale's satellite office at the end of Goose Lane in Guilford. I had started having bad cramps that I had chalked up to gas. But when the "gas pains" lasted 12 hours and got increasingly more like menstrual cramps I got very worried. I wasn't bleeding but on a pain scale of 1 to 10, the cramps were a 4-7 throughout the undulating waves they were coming in at. So I called my Obgyn and she called me back and said either the pain would go away and I'd be fine or I'd start bleeding and miscarry.

I said it's been TWELVE freakin' hours of this, couldn't there be another solution?

She told me to go to the hospital. Where I watched Pirates of the Carribean in the waiting room before they got me into triage and then into a bed. The urine test told me I was still pregnant, but I knew that meant that the hormone was still there and not that my baby was fine. There was also some blood in the test (I couldn't see any though) and they thought that meant I had an Urinary Tract Infection. We lucked out and was able to get an ultrasound. The doctor didn't think we'd be able to get one for a long while. I'm not sure why. But he was preparing to do a blood test, put me on an IV to keep me from being dehydrated and then doing a pelvic exam to make sure my cervix was still closed and not dialated.

Luckily, the ultrasound technician showed up almost immediately. The doctor ordered a vaginal ultrasound. *sigh* But it was merely slightly uncomfortable and it only went in a little bit before Bean showed up on the screen, doing bicycle kicks. The technician said I was too far along for a vaginal and went trans-abdominal instead, which was much more comfortable. My cervix was closed and fine and the baby's heartbeat was normal. As we were looking, Bean's arm came up and down and ctnewdad said it looked like he/she was waving. The technician said it was too early to tell if it was a boy or a girl.

So with the baby being fine and me diagnosed with a UTI, they gave me an antibiotic and a prescription and sent me home.

Sunday, I rested all day, took my meds but the pain woke me up from a dead sleep. Now it was on a scale of 7 to 9 with the same undulating wave. So on my way to work, I called my Obgyn to see if they could fit me in. They did and I never made it to work. They did a pelvic exam to confirm my cervix was still closed and listened to the baby's heart again. Still normal. The Dr. (I saw a Dr. this time!!!) prescribed some ultra super antibiotics and said if I was still in pain by 3 p.m., she would admit me to the hospital overnight for some intravenious drugs and to watch over me.

Oh yuck.

So I got the new meds and went home to my mother's house where I tried to sleep until 3 because the pain kept me up all Sunday night. My Mom fed me and worried about me and it wasn't looking good for the good guys, but at 2:30 I got up and walked around. I still had some cramping but the pain level was more of a 2-4 level and could easily be managed with Tylenol. So I called in. The urine tests confirmed it was a bladder infection and they sent a culture off to the lab. And I just have to check in today.

I was pain free this morning, even after the Tylenol wore off. It's now just a background annoyance. But I was so tired and worn out, I decided to take one more day off from work to rest and relax.

It's never dull. Pregnancy sure sucks though.

Update

Thu, 24 May 2007 16:58:21 GMT

OK so everything went OK with the first trimester screening. The baby is very active and apparently statistically normal. We got a measure of the heartbeat at 162 beats per minute, which is normal. The next day at my OBGYN appointment, I heard the heartbeat briefly before the baby scooted away. Very busy little thing.

The midwife of the flagyl scandal said that the CDC took it off the controversial list and that's why she prescribed it. I'm not sure why then the Dr. said it was controversial and the drug company listed the warning on the label, but there you have it. I'm satisfied with the decision, even though she could have communicated that to me at the onset instead of having me panic. I'll start taking the drug next week when I'm "Officially" in the second trimester.

My blood pressure was good. I find that if I read a book it calms me down. Go figure.

We talked briefly about nutrition. I've got to get in more calcium or the baby will leech it from my bones, heh. And she gave me a heads up that I needed to get more iron. I told her that I would not be eating spinach or liver. And she told me that I didn't have to. Apparently, there's cereal that's iron fortified, and eating brocoli (which I love) and garbanzo beans, red beans etc. are also good choices. So there's going to be a lot of 3-bean salads this summer I can tell.

I go back to them for their monthly check up end of June and back to Yale for the 2nd semester screening on July 3rd. It's then that I'll be able to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! As long as the baby is in the right position.

I'm a little sore where the ultrasound technician was probing my belly for an hour and a half trying to get the kid to stay still long enough for a reading. But it's a huge weight off my mind to know that the baby is healthy and I'm healthy and OMG we've got to get the nursery ready!!

This weekend I'm hoping to put a big dent into the room. I want to finish moving all non baby stuff out of the room, which translates to me packing and ctnewdad hauling the shit out of the room. And I want him to cart one of the armoires out on the deck, since it's such a nice day and paint it out there to dry. The other one is too big to move. I also want to *finally* get the room's measurements and if we're feeling wild and crazy, buy the paint and the wallpaper accents.